with Correspondence Connie
Alright you crazy people out there looking for that ever elusive love connection, and the rest of you who are just looking for hook-ups, I’m back for another round of your questions. I got some interesting ones since we last met so let’s dive right in.
Hi CC. I hope you are doing ok. I don’t usually do this kind of thing, write to ask for advice, especially from an anonymous stranger, but what the hey, so here goes. I met a guy about a month ago who I think is already cheating on me. He takes forever to return my calls and when we’re together he always keeps his phone turned away from me when getting text messages. Am I overthinking? When we’re together things are great otherwise. – Marina A.
The truth Marina is you are both overthinking and at the same time 100% right your new boy toy has other women, or men, on the side. The bigger issue to me is the fact that you just met the guy a month ago and you already clearly entered into what you thought was a monogamous relationship. Come on Marina. Pump your brakes. Give things time. This guy is clearly not ready to settle down. But the fact that he is misleading you is enough reason to run right now though. Run fast.
Hi Correspondence Connie. I can’t stop thinking about sex. What should I do? – Ronnie G.
What are you, 14 or 15? Because either you are a teenage boy or you have a real problem. Do you do more than think about sex? In other words, is sex just in your head or do you actually do something with a partner. My gut is telling me, there’s no real action going on because if there was, you wouldn’t have to think about it all the time. Hey sex is great but I think because it’s all in your head you’re making it out to be more than it is in reality. Hopefully you find a healthy, legal way to actually go beyond your head and you can clear that brain of yours. Think about politics or something. No, you’re better off thinking about sex.
Hey Connie. What’s up? I need some help real fast. I’m in a long distance relationship with a guy I’ve dated a long time. But our careers keep us apart much of the year. I met another guy at work that definitely has been flirting with me and I am having a hard time resisting. Is it wrong to go to dinner with my co-worker? – Sam C.
Simple way to answer whether it is wrong Sam. Have you told your boyfriend about this co-worker? Would you tell him about going to “dinner” if that’s all it is. You already know, by the fact that you’re writing me, that it’s wrong. I would bet my next TV dinner that you have not told your boyfriend anything at all about this. So it sounds to me like that long distance relationship has about run it’s course and is running out of road. My suggestion is you end it gracefully before you become that person sneaking around, filled with guilt about what you are clearly ready to do. That or you and long-term boyfriend better figure out who is going to bite the bullet and move their career closer to the other. You know what they say, long distance relationships don’t work. I don’t know who the hell ‘they” are, but I agree.
Connie, I’m gonna get straight to the point. My boyfriend sucks in bed. I love him but come on, this is a real problem. I don’t wanna accept a lifetime of bad sex. What should I do? – Thannya V.
Oh my Thannya. You do have a real dilemma. You are right to think about what it means to have to live with a horrible sex life. Uh uh, no, no. I don’t want to say sex is the most important part of a relationship, or I’ll confuse the hell out of young Ronnie a couple of questions ago. But hey it is indeed a big part of your life as a couple, unless you’re a couple of married monks or something. Have you told your guy you think he needs to work on his game? It is possible to get better. You can look at it as coaching him and have fun with it. I mean how bad can he be? I am really curious now as to what makes him so bad? All I can suggest is you try helping him get better. If he resists or just can’t do it, I hate to say it, but you may well have to trade him in. The last thing you want is the temptation to go elsewhere. Love is great, but don’t let romantic notions fool you. Most of us are not going to make it without without the relief that comes from sex. Sounds superficial but I speak the truth. Hopefully you have a good student on your hands.
Ok, that’s enough for today. If you know me at all, I have food on the brain and need to go raid the fridge. I think about food probably as much as young Ronnie thinks about sex. But hey, I’m not hurting anyone but myself. See you next time.
If you want Connie to give you some advice on love and dating in LA, email us at firstname.lastname@example.org and we’ll pass the questions to her.